It is normal to feel upset and distressed as with any new diagnosis of a medical condition. Remember that herpes doesn't discriminate and you don't need to 'blame' yourself for what is actually a very common condition.
Arrange a follow-up with your healthcare provider
It can be helpful to have a follow-up appointment with your healthcare provider about a week after your diagnosis, or after starting treatment for the first time. This can be in person or over the phone. The appointment is a chance to check that symptoms are improving, talk through any concerns, and ask any questions that may have come up.
Learn the facts about herpes
Inform yourself with accurate, up-to-date information. There's a lot of misinformation out there, so we recommend sticking to our website, which is medically accurate and evidence-based.
Remind yourself that this infection will not affect your fertility, give you cancer, or mean that you can't have a healthy, enjoyable sex life. Herpes is not life threatening, and it does not change who you are as a person.
Contact the herpes helpline
We run a toll free helpline and email support service. This is run by our dedicated team of non-judgemental, expert nurse counsellors who can provide free education and support around herpes.
Please note that this service is for people living in Aotearoa New Zealand only. Find out more about our helpline, including opening times and how to get in touch here.
Our helpline support can reassure you about how a diagnosis may affect your current or new relationships, and can help to facilitate support groups. Reassurance can be gained through discussion with people who have a similar condition.
Looking after yourself
If you need wellbeing support, you can speak to our helpline, your healthcare provider, or find a list of alternative wellbeing support services here.
The first herpes episode is usually the most severe in terms of symptoms. Look after your physical comfort and after a few days you should start to feel symptoms ease. The following treatments may alleviate the pain and discomfort of genital sores:
- Salt baths used to wash the genital area, can clean, soothe and dry the sores. Use 1 teaspoon of salt in 600ml of water, or a handful in a shallow bath.
- Pain relievers include simple analgesics (such as ibuprofen and paracetamol), ice (which when wrapped in a cloth can be soothing if applied directly to the sores - do not apply ice directly to the skin) and lignocaine gel or ointment.
- Loose underclothes, preferably cotton (not nylon), can help minimise discomfort and allow healing.
- Avoid all soaps on the area.
- Use a low setting of a hairdryer to dry the area with the lesions.
- Drink fluids hourly. This will make passing urine less painful as this dilutes the urine. For anyone who is experiencing extreme pain when urinating, sitting in a warm bath or using a pump bottle full of water and spraying water on yourself while urinating can make the process less painful. If you are given anaesthetic gel, apply 5 minutes before going to the toilet.
Remember, herpes is like any skin condition, and can be managed with appropriate treatment. A conversation with your health professional is required if your pain is severe or you are experiencing nerve pain as additional medication may be indicated.